Saturday 29 September 2012

I think, therefore I am



    I'm 'The Thinker'! I just took the Avatar Yourself Quiz and this is me http://avatar.wikia.visualdna.com/attempts/630365e9-7412-4cc2-b2f3-20913edb9aab/feedback. What about you? http://avatar.wikia.visualdna.com/quizzes/2d355b5e-3a03-516f-b31a-10cac777605c/api-accounts/7d64f5d6-4454-5ddd-8a7a-a555744600e8

Thursday 13 September 2012

And another one...

ISFJ: The Martyr

If you are an ISFJ, you are giving, generous, and believe strongly in sacrificing yourself to serve your fellow man. Whether you're spending the entire weekend cooking souffle for your husband's big dinner with his boss or giving over your body as a vehicle for the Shoggoth from beneath the ancient city of the Old Ones so that the Great Gods can rise again, selflessness and service are your hallmarks.

This generosity of spirit makes ISFJs admirably suited for any career positions involving being tied to altars or ancient ritual daggers. ISFJs also do well in positions such as teacher, doctor, and crack whore.

RECREATION: ISFJs are of such a self-sacrificing nature that recreation does not come easily to them. Their leisure pursuits often express their inner natures; thus, they often amuse themselves and provide endless entertainment for those around them by being moody and passive-aggressive.

COMPATIBILITY: ISFJs do well in relationships with ENTJs, who take their self-sacrifice for granted and expect no less from their minions. They also do well with ESFPs, because...well, ESFPs will shag anyone.

Famous ISFJs include Thomas the Martyr, Tertullian the Martyr, and Theka the Martyr.

(link)

Thursday 6 September 2012

Also...

Based on one of those tests I took, I appear to have the martyr/victim complex.

"The martyr is one who employs self-sacrifice and victimization as a way of avoiding to take responsibility for their life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibility for everyone else's life.
They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world." (link)


Personality tests galore

Just leaving this here...
R-Drive Personality Test Results
Narcissism |||||| 22%
Unconventionality |||||||||||||| 55%
Empiricism |||||||||||| 50%
Identity |||| 16%
Othercentricism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Independence |||||||||||||||||| 72%
Integrity |||||||||||| 50%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||| 72%
Stoicism |||||||||| 38%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 55%
Dynamism || 6%
Activity |||||| 27%
Romanticism |||||| 22%
Hedonism |||||||||| 38%
Take Free R-Drive Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

---

follows the rules, polite, fears drawing attention to self, dislikes competition, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, timid, dutiful, private, lower energy, finisher, organized, socially uncomfortable, modest, not confrontational, easily hurt, observer, prone to crying, not spontaneous, does not appreciate strangeness - intolerant to differences, apprehensive, clean, planner, prone to confusion, afraid of many things, responsible, guarded, avoidant, anxious, cautious, suspicious, more interested in relationships and family than intellectual pursuits, not adventurous, fears doing the wrong thing, dislikes change

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Big Five Word Test Results
Extroversion (15%) very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
Accommodation (78%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (47%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, structured, and self controlled while still remaining flexible, varied, and fun.
Emotional Stability (38%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Inquisitiveness (41%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress.
Take Free Big Five Word Choice Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


socially unskilled, unable to speak up for self, depressed, low self confidence, afraid of providing criticism, discontent, negative, apologetic, not a leader, quiet around strangers, prone to lateness, easy to fool, low energy level, easily distracted, feels defective, avoids crowds, avoids unnecessary social interaction, easy to persuade, avoidant, anxious, worrying, pessimist, unambitious, private, dependent, easily hurt, self loathing, frequently overwhelmed by unpleasant emotions, dislikes the spotlight, afraid to draw attention to self, fearful, weak sense or purpose, easily discouraged, lonely, not punctual, finishes work late, unadventurous, uninterested in science, prone to panic, easily embarrassed, happy doing mindless work, unproductive, loner, embarrassed by praise, prone to tears, easy to influence, feels unattractive, uncompetitive, modest, apprehensive about new encounters, second guesses self, feels untalented, not big on philosophical discussions, hesitant, undemanding, overly nice, avoids being a bother to anyone

Accommodating
(17.1% of women; 14% of men)
happiest when giving to others, not self absorbed, wants to carry on traditions of family, not materialistic, modest, serves others, not domineering, overly loyal, not competitive, does not need instant gratification, not controlling, compassionate, sympathetic, sensitive to the needs of others, not manipulative, gets along with others, does not make enemies, not vain, dislikes conflict, constructive, prone to spirituality, can be a doormat, good at taking advice, can be submissive


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Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion||||16%
Stability||||||||||38%
Orderliness||||||||||||||55%
Accommodation||||||||||||||||||77%
Intellectual||||||||||||50%
Interdependence||||||||||33%
Mystical||||16%
Materialism||||||25%
Narcissism||||16%
Adventurousness0%
Work ethic||||||||||||||58%
Conflictseeking||||16%
Need to dominate||||16%
Romantic||||||||||||||58%
Avoidant||||||||||||||||66%
Anti-authority||||||25%
Wealth||8%
Dependency||||||||||||||55%
Change averse||||||||||||||||||77%
Cautiousness||||||||||||||||||75%
Individuality||||||||||||||||61%
Sexuality||||||||||||41%
Peter pancomplex||||||||||||||||66%
Histrionic||||||25%
Vanity||||16%
Artistic||||||25%
Hedonism||||||||||||50%
Physicalfitness||||||27%
Religious||8%
Paranoia||||||25%
Hypersensitivity||||||||||38%
Indie||||||||||||||58%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were very low which suggests you are extremely reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:
clean, secretive, does not make friends easily, observer, hates large parties, risk averse, perfectionist, reclusive, solitude loving, more practical than abstract, does not like to stand out, high self control, intellectual, mind over heart, very cautious, takes precautions, respects authority, irritable, emotionally sensitive

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MOTIV Personality Test Results
href="http://similarminds.com/motiv/materialist.html">Materialistic

||||||||||
36%
Offbeat
||||||||||||||
56%
Thinking
||||||||||||||||
63%
Intimate
||||||||||||||||||
76%
Vitality
||||||
26%
Take Free MOTIV Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com


Friday 20 July 2012

Huh, I thought I last wrote on here a few months ago. Never mind. I just realised: now that my placement is officially finished, I have practically nothing to do to occupy my time. I am kinda back to square one i.e: end of last year/beginning of this year when I was only in uni once or twice a week and had no other activities planned. I was totally oblivious to how much time placement took up. And now I have to wait and see if my late assignment submission will be accepted. I don't believe it will be. And now I'm thinking of what I'll be doing this time next year. Will I be working or be in a really bad shape?

Already I can feel something happening to me. I don't feel 'with it'. I kinda feel numb and not bothered by things, more so than usual. And I'm sure it will only get worse; with no real incentive or reason to go outside regularly for at least the next few weeks, I'm going to stay up later and later, making my sleep patterns fucked and my mood all slippery.

I might ask if I can be prescribed aripiprazole again. I can feel a storm brewing. And even if everything 'goes well' with uni, who's to say my life will be happily ever after? I have tried to die on two occasions, and people usually say 'third time lucky'. But I can't think of a suitable way to die. I am not going down the paracetamol route again, and even if I had access to a gun I wouldn't use it. But it's not only that; there's people around me who would not want me to die. So...I have to hang on. Begrudgingly.

I haven't got active plans, btw. It's just been circling around my head for weeks, maybe months. As a kind of 'Plan B'.

Never mind.