Fuck.

I went out and felt anxious. Felt that people were looking at me. I was even waiting at a crossing for cars to go past, and caught someone looking straight at me. That just kinda confirms my fears, doesn't it?

I try and rationalise my thoughts and say 'oh maybe it's just people admiring your hairstyle (got black & blue plaits)' or 'people are just glancing like you usually do when you're out and about'. But...it feels more than that. People. Are. Watching.

When I was in Crisis House a few months ago, there was a period where I thought if I was thinking too much, then people would be able to hear what I was thinking. Sometimes I still think that but....ugh.

And why has my mood come down? Last weekend I was feeling happy, then at the start of this week I was even happier...But it's not true happiness. I know it's not, it doesn't feel real.

Maybe I have got schizoaffective disorder. I wouldn't be surprised. I dunno wtf is going on. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!