18 months later

- Engaged

- Still working

- Still on anti-depressants

- Having psychotherapy

- Stable

- Hopeful

- Touch wood

:)

I refuse to take

any aripiprazole. It's bad enough that I'm on the 2nd highest dose of sertraline available, and now you want me to take another drug? Fuck off.

No-one has actually said I have to, though my CC did lightly touch upon it a few weeks ago.

And why do I have to build my self-confidence? It ain't never gonna happen. I will always be some pathetic idiotic girl who can't deal with anything that happens in the universe. Fucking bitch.

As an update...

My sleep is now fine. I've got 6 tablets left of zopiclone, but I haven't taken it for almost a month. My appetite could be better. I'm eating unhealthy food and not exercising at all, which is something I want to change. Urm...oh on Thursday my CC said I could stop taking arirpiprazole now and just continue on the sertraline. Got no side effects.

So yeah, just getting on with things as best as I can.

Happy pills

A sexy line-up of pills, featuring from l-r: 100mg sertraline, 10mg arirpiprazole and 50mg sertraline.

Erm wut? Sertraline also causes insomnia. I’ve had 50mg before with no problem, so I still think it’s Ablify causing the sleep problems. But I am on 150mg now and was on 75mg and 100mg a few weeks before.

Also in rare causes sertraline can cause heart attacks. Ay carumba!

What the fuck...

AAAARGH, someone knocked on my door 5 minutes ago. I was having a dream about reading Wikipedia about how people in the UK are related to the French and how they used to fight with wolves, then their blood would mix with the wolves’ blood creating a werewolf (I know, weird). I’m having enough trouble as it is trying to stay asleep without random people knocking on my door at night. I think I know who it is but still.

The doctor came yesterday. She’s increased my antidepressant of sertraline to 150mg. I feel apprehensive about that. What if I go waaaaaay too high on that dose? No offence, but I don’t wanna end up like Stacey Slater in Eastenders.

I also asked for PRN zopiclone. Zopiclone is amazing. It knocks you out; it’s almost like being drunk. And you sleep so soundly. I didn’t want to take it last night cos my sleep appeared to be improving a little bit, but guess what? Someone’s gonna be taking a lil 3.75mg dose tonight.