Facing nearly a week without medication

So this is fun.

The whole GP/meds thing wasn't sorted yesterday. My mum went to the GP on my behalf and they just prescribed the 5mg of abilify saying that's the most important medication. Not to me it's not. The most important medication for me is the sertraline. I'm not taking anything unless I get my 150mg sertraline.

I'm seeing my CC on Tuesday so hopefully...hopefully things will get sorted out.

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It's a busy week next week - seeing my CC on Tuesday, going to uni on Wednesday to see if and when I can resume my studies (it feels weird that I want to go back when I was quite prepared to fucking die a few months ago). Then on Thursday I have a long assessment meeting. Fun.

2 overdoses and a weekend away in Malta

The above statement/title is not entirely true. I have had two suicide attempts but have never been to Malta.

So my modus operandi seems to be paracetamol. As a teenager I took about 9 or 10 tablets. I was intending to take more, but I'd crushed them for some reason.

At the age of 22, a mere few months ago, I took another overdose. A big one. Approximately 40 tablets/20mg of paracetamol with some ibuprofen & asprin, requiring an IV drip of n-acetylcysteine and some projectile vomiting. Both overdoses were with the intent to die.

There's a checklist or something on suicide intent. This isn't the one I was thinking of, but it'll do:

I ticked all the boxes on both occassions. So yeah.

One good thing about being a student nurse and having MH issues is the fact that I read up on things that happen or might happen to me (in terms of psychiatry) and it broadens my knowledge of the mind.

Huh, I guess there is a positive to being so depressed when you want to die in an instant.