So...

I finally got motivated enough to do some of my dissertation work. I spent nearly 3 hours searching online for research papers, spent some time reading about 4 or 5 papers, printed some off etc etc. I feel really happy and proud that I've done as much as I have. I've got two papers in mind that I'll critique and another two that I'll use to evaluate them and stuff. Amazing!

But while I was reading through the first paper, I suddenly thought of the email I got a few days ago from a colleague of mine asking for help with the research module. She's asked for help before and I gave it, even though it was tiring and I went out of my fucking way to help. And I literally mean out of my way.

But the thought of helping her now is just too much. I am fucking cracking here, well not really, not at the moment. But I'm lucky that I have only this module to focus on. I can't be helping someone else out, that's too much stress for me. I need to take things slow.

Ah but how to tell her gently but firmly that I can't help out. I know she'll be like 'oh but please, just help me with this one little piece I don't understand...' and before you know it I'm doing the fucking work for her.

Yes third year is tough. Yes this research piece counts for a high majority of our classification. Yes it's stressful. But shit girl, I got my own problems to deal with. Go to your supervisor, ask other people in the class for help. But don't bother me please, especially if you knew all the shit I've been through this year.